I seem to permanently be in long distance relationships.

Granted, my long-distance struggle with my then-boyfriend has ended because I married the dude and now spend my time fighting for my share of the bed, I am now in a long distant relationship with the rest of my family, and my friends. 

While I'm no expert on handling long distance business with friends and family while I live in LA, but you know, since I married the guy I was in a relationship with 9,000 miles across the world for two whole years, I figured I have some cred to talk about that.

Start with foundation.

I'm impressed by couples who have managed to stay together despite not having several years of commitment before they do the long distance thing. Yes, there's Facetime and Skype, but no matter how many sexts you send over Snapchat. John and I had slightly more than two years living in the same country before he went back to the US, and I believe that that foundation is necessary to continue a long distance relationship successfully. That foundation helps to solidify trust in one another, which is obviously important in any relationship.

Avoid being the monkey on each other's back

Basically, don't be a clingy shit. Believe it or not, while you may be apart, you don't need to be communication for 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. You need to put in more effort than you usually do, when you're doing long distance, for sure, but don't try to overcompensate by being sticky. 

Do things together without actually being together

The reason you're together is probably because you've got things in common, and just because you're not together, doesn't mean you can't do similar things. Whenever John recommends me a new TV show, I'd watch it, and we'd binge watch TV shows together while on Skype or Facetime. Little things would make all the difference.

Countdowns and distractions

I was the person on my social feed counting down to the next time I'd see my boyfriend, and I had work to distract me. Friday and Saturday nights, however, were the absolute worst. I was never the person who'd go out on Friday night, and I don't even drink to begin with. I'd want to come home to the person I love, but the person I love was too far away.


Any relationship advice encourages communication, but this is something I've learned more so in this relationship. He wouldn't know what I'm thinking or feeling without me telling him, and especially more so since he cannot read my body language other than our Facetime sessions. 

Have an end goal

It doesn't have to be a time-based goal.  Before John left we established that we both wanted to see this through, and I would eventually migrate when he settled. We had specifics on what "settled" would be, and true enough, when he finally did settle, he proposed, and the rest... well, you'd just have to continue reading this site to find out.

Are you in, or have you been in long distance relationships before?